Hard Times…

Not much has been going on in my world lately besides working, taking care of one of the sweetest kids in the world, and getting some exercise. I’ve been at my desk a lot at work lately doing tons of charting, and it’s driving me nuts!  I like to get up and move around, but the charting must get done.  I try to take a break and just walk around and say hi to my patients, but sometimes I get in the groove typing and typing and the next thing I know, and couple of hours have passed and my legs are swollen.  I hate that feeling!  Also, my eyes and head are killing me from looking at the computer all day.  Ok, that’s enough of my whining!

So the hubs and I have been arguing a little more than usual lately.  We’re both just tired and grumpy and need to go on a date so that we can do something fun together instead of just seeing each other in passing as we’re trying to get stuff done.  I must say, the hardest time for us in our marriage so far was right after G was born.  She was a preemie (just came early on her own, for no reason) and required a lot of extra attention, so we were so tired and grumpy all of the time.preemie 1

Here she is in a preemie outfit.  I saved it and still cannot believe how small it is!

Not that you won’t be tired and grumpy if you have a baby that’s not a preemie, but when you have to feed a baby a million times because of weight loss (she was a tiny 4 pounder), you’re not producing enough milk on your own and she can’t latch on and doesn’t even want to eat because she’s too tired/weak, it gets very hard.  We did triple feeds, 5 min of breastfeeding on each side followed by formula mixed with pumped milk for the baby, and then me pumping for 20 minutes – every 2 hours, 24 hours/day, 7 days/week for a few months. 

preemie 3

Can you see how tiny she was?

That means that after I have finished all of that and cleaned up the pumping accessories, I was lucky to be able to rest for about 30 min before doing it all over again.  I forgot to mention that Steven was working out of town at that time.  He spent the week away from home for work, and was home on the weekends.  I stayed with my parents a lot during the week, so my mom would try to get up and do the bottle feeds while I pumped.  I barely ate anything for months because I was so tired, and that definitely didn’t help the whole producing milk situation.  I rarely got out of my pajamas.  It killed me not to be able to breastfeed my baby.  Being a Dietitian, it’s constantly drilled into your head that it is what you need to do and what is best for the baby, and I felt horrible that I couldn’t do it.  I had multiple meetings/conversations with the Lactation Specialists and tried everything they told me to, but it never got better.

preemie 2

Another preemie outfit.  She looks like she was a little stressed too! 

Finally, when G was 7 months old and after a tearful conversation with her doctor (who was also my pediatrician and he’s the best!), I decided to go to formula only.  I was pumping every 2 hours at work (getting almost nothing when I pumped) and it was so difficult to get anything done.  Her doctor assured me that I should not feel guilty and that plenty babies do fine on formula alone.  It was seriously one of the hardest things that I have ever done.  It was so hard for me to let it go, but she wasn’t getting much milk from me anyway. 

Though giving up on the breastfeeding helped me get more rest and become a happier mommy, I hope next time that I can go full term with the pregnancy and that it makes this situation a little better.  I plan to breastfeed again and I think it will be just as hard for me if it doesn’t work out with the next one.

No, I’m not pregnant right now (that I know of), but I was just thinking about all of this and how so many things can affect our relationships.  In the end, I love my husband so much.  We tried to live without each other a few times during the 7 years that we dated, but it just didn’t work out for us.  We may argue, and we’re really good at it sometimes, but I love him and I’m happy that he’s my husband.  Can’t wait to plan our next date! 

What did you do on your last date?

Any ideas for ours?

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I’m Back!

Hello blogging world.  I have definitely missed you!  Our computer died, and being on a super tight budget right now, we weren’t able to run out and get a new one right away.  We were doing some research right now, but it looks like we’ll have one by next weekend!  Until then, I’m going to blog from wherever, whenever I get the chance.  Not being able to talk to my friends much between work and being a mommy leaves me with tons to talk about on the blog, and my husband appreciates that I have an outlet because I’ve been talking his ears off lately! 

Where to start…I signed Little G up for Mommy and Me swim lessons.  She absolutely loves it until I dunk her under the water, so we save that until the end.  This past lesson, we were putting toys in the water to encourage the babies to move around to get to them.  My daughter decides to motion for the toys to come to her instead.  It was pretty funny stuff.  Love that kid!

swimsuit

 Here she is trying on her new swimsuit (with Steven hiding the the back because he didn’t want his picture taken).  She has normal ones, but I liked this rashguard suit because it will help protect her from the sun when we start swimming outside, and it’s pretty stinkin’ cute!

 My hubby was gone helping with a huge even in town called Stadium Fest all weekend.  After our swim lesson and a fun baby shower, we stopped by to see him.  He was wearing a hat, which he never does, and Little G was so confused when she saw him.  I don’ t think that she knew that it was her dad until her started talking to her.  After she knew it was him, she got all excited and made him take her out of the stroller.  She has super powers like that where she can make him do all kinds of things.  She’s going to teach me how she does it next weekend.

Sunday was another busy day, just running around getting stuff done.  When I’m off of work, I usually do a workout video and take a shower while G is taking her morning nap.  I wasn’t able to do that Sunday, so I had to exercise around 9:00 pm.  I so should have been getting ready for bed, but I had to get a workout in.  The MTV Movie Awards was on.  I’ve never been a big fan of the show, but when I heard them say Zac Efron would be on, I wanted to tune in because, well, he’s just nice to look at. 😉  I kid, that’s not the only reason that I was watching.  So, I set up the portable DVD player by the TV so that I could exercise and while watching.  It’s all about priorities here!  The show was not good at all, but the workout was!  I ended up having to change the channel to HGTV (one of my favs!) after watching it for a few minutes…I didn’t even see Zac. 

tv

It’s Monday, y’all!  I had to stop and get some real coffee this morning to help me get through the day.  coffee

How was your weekend?

Any coffee drinkers out there? 

I’m Itching…

Itching to run another half marathon! It’s weird not training for anything right now, but I know that I needed some extra time to heal from my stress fracture, so I haven’t signed up for anything.  I’m really trying not to get hurt again, so I’m increasing my mileage slowly.  As soon as I feel ready, I’m signing up for one! Maybe one that looks has something to do with this…
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So this week, I had 1 cake order. It was for a little girl’s princess birthday party. I hope that they loved it!

princess cake

My 5K was this past Saturday. I was hoping this would be a speedy one for me, but it wasn’t. I took it a bit easier since I had been having trouble with my hip.  It wasn’t my slowest 5K ever, so that’s good!  I think one of my problems (when I’m not injured) is that I’m so used to running farther than 3 miles, I just can’t wrap my head around pushing myself that hard so early in a race. I hold back and then I finish feeling like I didn’t put enough into the race.  That’s something I need to work on.

Easter Sunday was great! We got up and Little G looked through her Easter basket. She got lots of Disney stuff and a really neat Dora mermaid that jumps into the bathtub and swims.  She loves it!  And guess what…I forgot to take a picture of G in her Easter dress.  Ugh, I am so mad at myself!  Steven plays the bass in the band at church, so he has to be there early.  That leaves me and G all alone to ready to drive the 45 min to church, so the last thing that I am thinking about is taking pictures.  I guess she’ll just have to get all dressed up again this weekend and sit by her basket so that I can take one!

After a great church service, we headed to my sister’s house for lunch. We usually have it at my parent’s, but my sister wanted to give it a shot this year. We all brought a dish and everything was perfect.  It was a great weekend.  

Do you ever forget to take pictures?

Any suggestions to help me remember?